Ha! You know I have the best intentions with this blog, to help others in their dealings with their families and friends, but it's causing me to take a good, long look in the mirror, too.
Yesterday I was very happy, many signs in my life (and emails I was receiving) were pointing me to create a vision for my life. I read a great article by Steve Pavlina,
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2010/03/creating-your-vision/
which gave me the step-by-step process of how to do so.
I read the article, and dutifully set about creating my vision for my life.
Then my kids came home. I fixed them something to eat, and they were loud. I kept asking them to be quiet, finally I sent the one away from the table. After a while, I asked him to start his homework, and it went downhill fast. I was angry that he doesn't follow directions, that I have to ask him to do things 12 times, basically that he wants to do what he wants to do, while I want him to do what I want him to do, NOW!
And I was angry that he was loud. But today, I'm thinking, maybe I was angry at him behaving like a little boy. Aren't little boys loud? Don't they want to do what they want to do? But shouldn't they listen to their mothers? Shouldn't they do their homework when they are asked to?
So, today, needless to say, I wasn't feeling nearly as great when I sat down to read my vision again. It was hard to get in that frame of mind and imagine and feel it like it was already here. Perhaps, I told myself in a tiny attempt at cheer, this is happening so I can FEEL how the people I am writing for feel when they are arguing with their families.
I've been taking a course on a book called "Lessons In Truth" by Dr. H. Emilie Cady. I had to write a paper on it, and I surmised that part of the thesis of her book is that we choose our thoughts. We shape our realities by what we choose to think. She also argues, that by meditating and getting to know God better, you come to a place where you know that you know. Meaning, if you get quiet, and listen for the (what she calls) "still small voice" others may call it intuition, you know the answer. You know what you're supposed to do.
So, I took the course, I wrote the paper, I write the blog, so did I do it? Did I meditate and know that I already know the answer to my above mentioned questions? NO, I did NOT.
I went looking on the web for what someone else has to say about it. And although I am on my way to meditate now, and I do think that is a good way for me to figure out why I am inpatient with my children this week and what the lesson is they are trying to show me, I am going to share with you what I found on the web, too, so you can have a 35-page print out of How to Parent Effectively.
Shelley Lefkoe is the co-founder of the Lefkoe Institute, and the founder and President of the Possibilities of Parenting Center (POPC), a division of the Lefkoe Institute. The mission of the POPC is two-fold: to have parents discover that self-esteem (the experience of being able and worthy) and a positive attitude toward life are the key to their children's happiness and success;
and to empower parents to assist their children in the creation of positive self-esteem and a healthy view of life.
She has co-written an eBook, Chicken Soup for the Soul's Guide to Effective Parenting. You can download it for $19.95 from this link:
http://www.lefkoeinstitute.com/parenting-ebook.html
She knows,that "our beliefs about ourselves, people, and life are crucial in determining how we live." So she created this systematic approach to dealing with our kids to help us achieve that vision that we want for our families so
we can "get your kids to do things like homework, brushing their teeth, and cleaning their room - without a battle."
When thinking about my own situation, I think my son has a responsibility for his actions, too. I don't want to be a complete pushover and think, "Well, he's just being a little boy." He does a responsibility to do his homework and respect what his mother tells him. And I have a responsibility to respect him and understand that he is a little boy.
I do know, that I don't want to yell, or get angry, or cajole him to get him to do what I want. I want a nice, peaceful, loving family, for my family and for yours, so I point you in the direction of this ebook and daily meditation time to try to achieve that vision in our lives. Good luck!
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BLOGALICIOUS! It is true what "they" say...parenting is the hardest job you will ever have and one that once employed, will never end, not in your lifetime! That can bring an enormous amount of pressure if one is not careful. Peaceful, loving families fight too! In fact, that struggle is part of the lesson you have for your children, how do you respond to stress, when you fall into anger and frustration, how do you get out of it? Do you take the time to apologize, to go back and calmly explain? I admit, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. The real trick in this and quite frankly one of the many gifts of parenting is taking the opportunity to know yourself, to recognize when you are off track, over the top, selfish. I've a 12 year old and the struggle is very different with his growth and development, but I too have grown and developed and all is well.
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