Children are Gifts and Loans from God

Children are a gift to us, but they are also on loan. As parents, we are meant to raise them and guide them while they are growing, then release them, so that they can find their own way in life.

Along the way of finding their path, kids are going to run into obstacles, bumps, skinned knees, bruises, etc. And while we want to protect them from these hurts, if we overprotect them, the children will become weak and fearful or too comfortable to leave us when the time comes.

This is a tricky dance to learn as parents, but one that must be adhered to, because by trying to be sure that your child never runs into any problems, you are actually creating a bigger problem for them. By constantly fretting and fixing their problems for them, you are subconsciously telling them that they are unable to do it on their own.

It's a dance parents must practice to learn. It's difficult, when a child comes crying to you to not rush in there and fix it. I've mis-steped on this dance many times, myself.

Often times my six-year old comes to me, crying, after having an argument with another child and he asks me to "go talk to them." It's difficult to tell him no, but my family has tried to explain this principle to me on many occasions, too. Unless it is a very egregious situation, I don't rush in and fix it for him. I talk with my child and we come up with ways that he could solve his problem. But then I let go, and I let the kids work it out on their own, because when they do work it out, it gives them self confidence, self-esteem, and lets them know that they can take care of themselves.

Like a lot of things having to do with parenting, the lessons start small, and accumulate. You're not going to dance the tango the first time out. You've got to build up to it.

Obviously at two, if one child hits another with a toy, you do get in there and explain why that is not good, and you do help your kid from being hit or hitting another child. But by six, the parent is backing away and the child is learning boundaries and how to conduct himself with his peers, how to speak properly to get what he wants, how to take turns, and all the lessons he needs to know as a six-year old.

As the child gets older and banks the lessons learned on the playground about how to resolve his own conflicts, we are stepping further and further back from fixing everything for them. By allowing them to survive mistakes, and get through reckless or thoughtless choices, we are teaching them how to overcome the bumps along their path of life.

This is the way to cherish the gift God has given you in your child, and return the loan of a self-reliant, capable person who can now do the same for their child. Dance on!

Five Tips to Keep Fit as a Busy Working Mom by Amanda Alexander

Whoever you are or however manic your working week is, maintaining your physical fitness as a working mum is essential to your overall wellbeing.

Exercise is quite simply essential to our overall wellbeing, and you need to take time to plan your schedule.

If you have been putting it off, start right now! By regularly moving your body you will reduce your stress levels, increase your energy levels and motivation. Last but by no means least, you will get more done in less time (always a bonus for working mums!). You could be so much more productive and truth be told you don't have to devote a great deal of time to doing this, either.

Get up earlier in the morning. Most fitness experts and those who like to tell us how to lead our lives agree that eight hours is an optimum amount of time for sleep. How many hours are you devoting? The chances are that you can cut back a little bit on your sleep and set the alarm clock to go 15 to 30 minutes earlier. Morning is definitely the best time to devote to exercise, as there is less to distract you and unless your time management skills are polished, evening time can quickly whittle way.

Trade in your lunch hour. Most people enjoy an hour for their lunch. Trade in the traditional use of this time for time spent exercising. If you don't live near a gym or fitness centre, simply put one foot in front of the other and walk yourself to fitness. If you can force yourself outside whatever the weather, you will feel the benefits in your mind as well as your body. A blast of fresh air will reinvigorate you and improve your efficiency for the afternoon ahead. This is quite simply the easiest way to get your heart pumping. Stride at a pace that gets you slightly out of breath,swing your arms and squeeze your tummy muscles in.

Optimise TV time. Clear some space in front of the tv and set yourself a goal of 100 crunches each day whilst watching your favourite tv show! If you have a stable coffee table, use it for tricep dips. Grab a couple of cans of baked beans and do some bicep curls or shoulder press-ups. The possibilities for exercising as you watch tv are endless.

You should concentrate on what you are doing of course - you can multi-task, can't you? Try three sets like this. See how accomplished you feel?

Take advantage of those chores. As much as we don't like to do household chores, we still have to do them. Picture a workout at the same time? Clean the old-fashioned way! Get down on your hands and knees and scrub away - use that elbow grease! A physical approach to cleaning and work in the garden will all work for you health.

Plan some family activities. You can have great fun working out with your kids? Maybe it's time for you to invest in a bike for each member and to start exploring those local bike trails that you hear all about. This can be a great family bonding activity and you can schedule something like this instead of a visit to the cinema, for example.

These days, professional coaching experts reveal, via the web, a number of other areas for you to consider as part of online life coaching.

Explore specific coaching for women to help you make the most of the time available and to ensure that you maintain tiptop health.

Remember Your Husband.

Twice in one week, I heard the complaints of men in marriages who felt that once the baby came along, the wife just became super mom and forgot about the guy who helped her make the baby.

Tell me if this scene sounds familiar: a woman is tired at the end of a long day with the kids and asks her husband to help her get them to bed. And he does, but once he gets them into their pajamas he starts wrestling with them, rather than reading to them, and the woman comes in barking, "Just forget it, I'll do it!"

Relax. You can read to him tomorrow night. You've got to relinquish some of that control, and let him do it the way he does it.

Order is nice, routines are nice, but so is spontaneity and fun with Dad. If your guy is trying to help out, just be happy and pat him on the back and give him some nice words of encouragement.

There’s really no such thing as a supermom, anyway. Moms who look like they have it all together, sometimes do (on that specific day), but most times don’t. We’re all human. When you sit down and really talk to someone intimately, you find out we’re all dealing with things in our own ways.

Don't play the martyr, grumbling about poor me I have so much to do, and no one to help me with it. Play the lover. Find things to be happy about and be in love with your guy for. Your kids will be much happier for it. The best gift you can give to your child is to see a happy, secure relationship between their parents. That makes the child feel secure.

Relationships need nourishment. Nourishment comes from putting the time in, making him feel important, valuing his opinion, and treating him like the friend he was before the child (or children) came along. Husbands and wives need private time away from their children to connect, to talk, to just be alone together.

Of course the relationship between a mother and child needs that time and effort put into it as well, but if it is done at the exclusion of the husband that is unbalanced and not good for the family.

The family includes the dad, too. The upside of having him involved with things, even if he does it differently than you do, is you don't have to be the sole provider of every single whim the child has -- you get a break. Plus, the child will be well-rounded and less spoiled if his every demand is not met immediately. Delayed gratification is a great lesson to learn young.

Remember your husband. He’s your partner, your friend, and your ally. All too soon, as adolescence sets in, you’re probably going to need him, so don’t alienate him in the early years. Cultivate that relationship, so it can last long after the kids move out.